Holding Hope

A miracle given to me. (The beginning of our journey)

I was almost 23 weeks pregnant when the Dr wanted me to see a specialist. I went in with my mother a few days later for a more detailed ultrasound. I could tell with the way the Dr was looking at the screen it was bad. I just looked at him in tears and asked. How bad is it Dr.? He took a second and then said, I am so sorry, you have a damaged fetus. And its bad. He then told me nothing was moving. That my son was not able to move his head, mouth, legs , arms . NOTHING. I told him, Dr I feel my son moving how is it that he is not kicking me. He said he was finding a neurological muscular issue. Moments later he said Im very sorry, but with you being so far along I need to know today if you are wanting to abort the pregnancy. One second I am looking at my beautiful child in fear, and the next I was on the floor in tears. And asking my own mother, what do I do? All I could say was my baby, my poor baby.....

It was like a bad dream that wasn't going away. They had the chaplain, and counselor come in to help me make this difficult decision. I told them I needed to go home and would come again tomorrow.

I called later that day asking for a second opinion, for I just couldn't let my child's life go. But still struggled with what was best for my son. I went in the next day and spoke with another specialist. He then told me Im so sorry but from what we are seeing it is telling us that your son will not be capable of breathing on his own. That his brain isn't telling his muscles to do the right things. That he will most likely be put on breathing machines and only live a short life. They also said they expect him to be paralyzed and unable to move anything. I was as you can imagine devastated. I wanted what was best for my baby. I couldn't imagine bringing him into this world to suffer and die a short terrible death. I was so scared and so lost. I felt inside like I needed somebody to be the mother just for a moment and make this hard choice for me. I couldn't I just didn't feel like my heart could be able. Our baby was so alive and safe inside and all I wanted is to hold onto him forever. The councilor and doctors tried to tell me making this choice would be a choice of love and that I would be making the best decision for my baby. I started believing them and thinking this was the best choice for my son. So I told them ok we will follow thru with delivering today. So I went into the rm and sobbed in my husbands arms. As we waited for the Dr. to come in I looked at my husband and asked is this best choice are we making the right decision for our baby boy. He looked at me trying to be strong for us both and said I believe we are hunny. So the Dr. came in and as he is getting things ready and the tears streamed down my face I just kept thinking my baby, I want my baby. And at that moment my son began kicking me so very hard. I swear he was telling me Mommy I am here alive and well pls. let me decide if I live or die. Please let me be here with you as long as I can. I at that moment said, I can't I am sorry please stop don't do this. It was a very long and hard journey from that day till my due date. Every Dr. visit every ultrasound was so emotional. I didn't know how to love something so much and lose it before I had the chance to really have it. How do you say hello and good bye in the same moment. I struggled with my courage and prayed daily for strength and courage for the road ahead.

Due date. Sep.7th 2010 I was walking into the hospital holding my mothers hand knowing this was the hardest journey any of us has ever faced

It was about 7 Am and my C-section was scheduled at 10:30AM I got into my rm and had the sweetest nurse taking care of me. They have special nurses when they expect the outcome to be death. She was amazing giving me courage in every moment of my fear.

before I knew it, it was 10:30 and they were ready for me to walk back into the surgery rm. I looked at the hall ahead of me and my nurse said "come on hun lets do this, lets meet that precious boy". I started walking toward the rm and stopped I told her"Im sorry I have to go back I need to pee". She smiled and looked at me saying "Your not going back my dear" You are strong and you can do this". So I went in to the rm and they started the procedure. I was so scared and all I wanted was to kiss the cheeks of my angel. Moments later I heard my sons beautiful strong voice. He cried so loud for the whole world to hear. They had told me earlier to be prepared that he probably wouldn't be strong enough to cry. He did, he cried and cried. The most beautiful sound any mother ever heard. I was yelling out with unstoppable tears he is crying do you hear him. For I knew at that moment my baby was strong and very alive at that moment he was fighting and was amazing all the Dr.s They gave me a quick glance at my precious boy and took him in what is called the R room it the resuscitation rm were they had a team waiting expecting to hook him up to machines. About 15 min. later What felt like forever. They finally finished closing me up and rolled me into the room to see him. he cried the whole time until they gave him his first bottle witch he was more than happy to have. Not only was my baby strong and breathing. But he was eating. When I saw him all I could think was he is so perfect. Other than his arms unable to bend they couldn't find anything wrong with my baby. So they later took an MRI and it came back perfect. And then diagnosed him with Arthrogryposis. The Dr came in later and said well we were wrong and I am so glad we were.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

A Dream Come True

   It was almost a year ago. I was soon to deliver my little miracle. I was so afraid and couldn't stop worrying.
   My friend called me and said Ang I had a dream of Drayten last night. he was sitting in his high chair his head full of curls and he was laughing at his sister. She said Ang I don't think Drayten is going to die. I just feel it in my heart. I said I felt the same but was so afraid of what the dr. kept telling me. She reminded me moms know best Ang.
   She was so right. My son is so happy and healthy I am so so blessed. Last night my son was sitting in his high chair eating dinner, when his sissy started playing peek a boo with him. As he sat there laughing at her. His eyes sparkled with happiness as she jumped out and surprised him. I started to cry remembering that very dream of my friend.
   WHAT A DREAM COME TRUE.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Getting Stronger Everyday

Drayten is doing so well. He is gaining so much use in his right arm and fingers he is now plying so much more with toys. I am so happy to watch him play with trucks and toys a simple thing I never thought I would see. He is also gaining strength in his legs as well. He is now able to stand and support his weight on both legs as long as i am holding on his arms for about 5 sometimes 10 sec.
   We are now starting aggressive treatment on his elbows and re splinting every week at Shriner's. We are hopping to gain a lot of bend in the next 2months.
   He is also eating all the time. He eats solid 3 to 4 times a day and is just starting to love the Gerber little puffs. As well as 3 to 4 bottles a day. Good little eater. He is also starting to sleep so much better at night he only wakes once to feed and goes right back down.
   Talking is one of Draytens favorite things to do. And DADA is his favorite thing to say. Everything else is adorable baby babble.

He gets therapy through early intervention once every week and sees a chiropractor about every other week, as well as therapy through Shriner's on occasion. We are so happy and proud of our little miracles progress and look so forward to the next few months.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Draytens Appointment at Shriners

by Angela Jensen on Wednesday, April 6, 2011 at 9:12am

So our update on Draytens appointment at Shriners. He is making great improvements in both his arms and wrists. They are wanting us to continue working with them and stretching them daily. The hand surgeon is hoping that once Drayten is older and his muscles mature that he will have good muscles that he can surgically move and place so that Drayten would hopefully in time be able to move and bend his arms.

We are asking for prayer that God would continue his work on our little miracle and give Drayten the muscles he needs for this surgery.

Thank you all so so much.

Dear father I thank you for the little miracle you have blessed us with. We are s thankful and know how blessed we are to have him in our daily lives. I pray Lord that you continue your work in my son. That you touch his tiny body and give him all that he needs. I pray if it your will, that you give him the muscle he needs for his arms. And the strength and determination he needs to overcome. I pray that my son be stronger than I am. And when the days get hard and he feels he can't go further that you give him the strength and courage to push thru. Thank you for my children. And for making them perfect just as they are. You are such an amazing God and continue to show me your wonderful works every day. Thank you father. Amen

Monday, April 4, 2011

Little Drayten and spider man -Arthrogryposis

Thursday, March 24, 2011

My little hero

Drayten is doing so well. He is learning and growing so quickly. He is 6 months old now. And I can't figure out how it went by so fast. He is sitting up on his own and has started reaching out to both mommy and toys with his right arm. I am so proud, and so excited to see him showing so much interest in everything. I am looking so forward to the next 6 months.
We have started therapy at both shriners and kidsence. I am so thankful to all the programs and help that these places are offering us. I just know my little fighter will continue to amaze us. He is also eating solids and loving them. This has also started making his body start to regulate itself. And he is now pooing normally thank God.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Struggling

So Drayten seems to not be able to poo. We have been trying so many things and keep going back to the dr. for constipation. So frustrating. Mommy is hoping Its not anything serious. But for some reason it seems its never easy. :(